Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Earthquake!!! Hurry, Find Me a Can of Steven Seagal's Energy Drink!!!!!!

From the shattered, post-apocalyptic remains of Central Virginia, we here at The Jacked Up Grill have clawed tooth and nail through the rubble to bring you this special post. For those of you living in a cave, at two p.m. today, a 5.8 magnitude earthquake hit about 30 miles from our house, causing literally tens of dollars in damage. The reports of devastation are still pouring in. There was a chair overturned in Crozet. Free Wi Fi at the Downtown Mall was interrupted for almost a minute. A very close game of Jenga ended in disappointment and inconclusive results at the Rosewood Village Assisted Living home. Luckily, the Jacked Up Grill is still standing.

In times of life and death.....that's too dramatic. In times of life and life with a slight vibration, the important things are really put into perspective. What have I done with my life? What will I leave behind? How come I haven't done what I said I was going to do, and tracked down a can of Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Energy Drink so that I can use it to cook with?

....

I'll just let that soak in.

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All that was a segue into a call to action for you, my loyal reader (singular). If you know anything about me, you should know that I am Steven Seagal's biggest fan. When I heard that he had his own energy drink a few years ago, I was intrigued, but I never got my hands on any. Now it has been out of production for a while, and when they turn up on the internets, they go for crazy prices. So here is your challenge:

Find me at least one can of Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Energy Drink, preferably in Asian Experience flavor.

Your Prize Package:
1. A copy of Steven Seagal's Bluegrass CD, Songs From a Crystal Cave (that is not a joke)
2. the Jacked Up Grill's summer cookbook
3. A collectible scoop of Virginia soil that was shaken by the earthquake
4. A Steven Seagal DVD from the Jacked Up Grill's personal collection
5. The recipe that I make using the energy drink will be named after you (awesome!)
6. Special Edition Jacked Up Grill Emergency Preparedness Earthquake 2011 Recipe Cards featuring the following design:
7. An autographed picture of my one year old son doing a Steven Seagal impression
8. Immortality

Now that is a prize pack worth fighting for!

So get to work loyal reader! Find me a can of Asian Experience and glory shall be yours!!!!!
If you find a lead on a can, contact me at jackedupgrill@yahoo.com for further instructions.

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