Saturday, August 20, 2011

Moink Balls.................Insert Joke Here

Some of my favorite food are balls..........Okay, that sounds bad. Some of my favorite foods are spherical in shape?......Forget that, let's call a ball a ball. Cheese balls? Gooooood. Meat balls? Goooood. Moink balls? .............Anybody? Moink Balls? Trust me, they are GooooooOOOOOooood.

A Moink Ball is a frozen meatball, wrapped in bacon, sprinkled with barbeque rub, and smoked. I discovered them on a feature my computer has called "The Internets." You click on a big "e," and then pull up a "google." The "google" finds things that you are looking for. I think it is tied to some kind of library somewhere. Anycrap, I used the "google" to find fun party food for a neighborhood cookout we were going to today, and I discovered Moink Balls. Moink is a combination of Moo and Oink, since the meatballs are beef and the bacon is pork. Kind of a lame name, but I didn't invent it.
***UPDATE****  I have learned that another name for the smoked jalepeno poppers that have made a few appearances on this blog are elsewhere known as Atomic Buffalo Turds. I am officially not trying hard enough in the names I have have been giving my food.

My friend has been saying that he would make more things from the Jacked Up Grill if the recipes were geared more for beginners, ie had less ingredients. So here you go, Chris Koogler, these little babies only really have two ingredients, and they are both fan favorites: bacon and meatballs.

I set up a Moink Ball making station in the kitch, while mi familia got a quick nap in.

Any kind of frozen meatball will do, but I went with these little babies.
I thawed them out for about 2 minutes in the microwave, so that I could get a toothpick through them without it slipping off the side and ramming into my thumb  (1:30 is NOT ENOUGH time to prevent this!!!! Trust me).
Simply cut the bacon in half, and then wrap a piece around a meatball and secure with a toothpick. This alone, when grilled, smoked or cooked in the oven would make a delicious appetizer, so those of you who have no sense of adventure, or who are afraid of making food SUPER DELICIOUS, feel free to quit now (Chris Koogler). If you want to Jack Up your cooking, read on........

I planned on smoking my moink balls, so they needed a rub. I went with my stand by favorite, the Memphis Style Rub. I will put the recipe at the end of the post. It is spicy, and heavy on brown sugar, which carmelizes nicely in the smoker. I sprinkled them liberally before going in, and then again with about 15 minutes to go.

If you have a smoker, throw the moink balls in for about 2 hours at 250 degrees, or until the bacon is crispy. If you only have a charcoal or gas grill, try and set up indirect grilling (heat not directly under the food), and make sure to put a drip pan underneath the moinks, because the bacon drains so much fat, which can cause flare-ups. If, you poor soul, you don't have a smoker or a grill, this appetizer can still be made in the oven, set at 350 degrees, and watched carefully until the bacon is crispy.

Now don't get me wrong, straight out of the smoker, my moink balls tasted great. However, more can be done to make them even better. Enter glazes and sauces. I bought a jar of hot pepper jelly from Harris Teeter today, and it made a perfect savory glaze for half of my batch of moinks. I melted it for 1 minute in the microwave, and then brushed it onto about 15 of the balls 15 minutes before I took them off the heat. This made a perfect sweet slash spicy slash glazey coating. For sauces on the finished balls............what else could they be called weirdo?, I offered a squeeze bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce and one of my own making, a Thai Sweet Chili sauce that will melt your ever lovin' face off.
I have been meaning to add a bottle of Sriracha chili sauce to my cabinet for awhile, and this gave me the perfect excuse.

Thai Sweet Chili Sauce
1 part Sriracha Chili Sauce
1 part Honey
Mix well and put into squeeze bottle. USE CAREFULLY! VERY HOT!!!
I ran into Eric, who was hosting the cookout today, earlier at the grocery store. I told him I was bringing Moink Balls, and he asked, nervously, if they were similar to Lamb Fries or Rocky Mountain Oysters. I replied that they had no testicles whatsoever. Now that I have made them, I realize that that statement was premature. These are the manliest of all appetizers. They are jam packed with fortitude, and when matched with a wicked rub, a rocking glaze, and a blazing sauce, they become the type of food that people could write dissertations about.......

By the way, everyone who reads this should text message Chris Koogler and tell him that this is an easy recipe, and that he should stop being a little girl and actually try and make it. His cell number is 334-618-2175. A prize goes to the person who sends him the most creative text message encouraging his participation.

Memphis Style Rub
1/4 cup light brown sugar
1/4 cup paprika
1 tbsp granulated sugar
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp mustard powder
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp garlic powder
(don't worry Chris, buying all this stuff might seem expensive, but if you look, you probably have half of it already from all those times you make pink cupcakes, and once you add the smallest jars of the ones you dont have, you will probably only spend a few dollars, and they will last you a long time)

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the phone number plug. I'll give them a try.